This kinda shines a little positive light on Alzheimer's Disease. See, it's like this...you're with the same woman for 30, say 50 years right? Sure you love her. Sure...couldn't imagine life without her, but if you forget her it's a win-win situation right? Everyday you're waking up next to a different woman...or man...or interactive pc (if you're into that sort of thing).
Truth-be-told, Alzheimer's Disease sucks. I've seen it first hand and it sucks. We shouldn't wish it on anyone...even if you owe them money...lol! It would be nice to see modern medical science cure this but we can't even get pimples and stupidity cured, so I suppose it has to stand in line next to AD/HD and Herpies.
Speaking of AD/HD...have you ever been to a little league game full of AD/HD kids? You're sitting on the bleachers watching the kids while the kids are watching the butterflies. "Keep your eye on the ball kid," and "Hey stop spinnin and circles and pay attention." And while the coach is screaming this at the kids you look over at the single moms scratching at their herpies. Darn medical science.
Oh, and I figured out how to deal with the oil spill...ask an actor. And when this astroid that is coming straight at us is about to hit...ask a guitar player. Wink.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
This Scares the Crap out of me!
The following definition was copied and pasted from this web site:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/biological+weapon
-Begin Quote-
Biological weapon Function: noun Date: 1947
: a harmful biological agent (as a pathogenic microorganism or a neurotoxin) used as a weapon to cause death or disease usually on a large scale.
-End Quote-
For the purpose of making my life easier (because I’m pathetically lazy and want to shorten words, even though I took the time to write this ridiculous disclaimer) I will refer to the above term as bio-weapon. What is a bio-weapon? If you’re asking this question…look above this paragraph; you twit! I took the time (under two minutes) to type in the term in my web browser, clicked on the definition, and I copied and pasted it up there for you to read. Duh!
Bio-weapons come in many forms. According to the Center for Decease Control in Atlanta, Georgia, there are three categories of bio-weapons. I won’t bore you with details, but I can assure you that “Dutch Ovens” aren’t listed under a category of Bio-terrorism. It’s true…they’re not. A Jewish girl I once dated (I’m part German, and you’ll understand my mention in a moment) accused me of anti-Semitic terror because I a-s gassed her. I pulled the blanket over her head and released an S.B.D. (Silent But Deadly) bio-butt attack. Not to worry though. I found no category including rotten egg smelling farts, so all of us immature boyfriends and evil big brothers have nothing to worry about.
In case you’re annoying curiosity wants further information regarding the C.D.C.’s bio-weapon categories, and any relevant facts you should know about, I’ve posted their link. But not until you finish reading this thread because I wrote it and anything I write should be considered more important then anything about the end of the f-cking world, so here’s the link: http://emergency.cdc.gov/bioterrorism/
If you’re still reading this, I love you, and I want you to know that I appreciate my fans; especially if they send me money for nothing, so send cash ‘via’ snail mail to:
For those of you that paused your reading to click on the link and get all distracted, we had tons of fun while you were gone, but now all of the cyber cake is gone, and the exotic dancers and their donkey have left; too bad for you; read on…
There have been an unknown number of unconfirmed tests in which governments have simulated bio-weapon attacks on their soil. One such experiment was conducted in a London, England subway tunnel. A bio-thing-a-ma-jig (probably a cold virus) was released into a crowd and the local hospitals (or some shack they threw up) where monitored for patients admitting themselves regarding the whatever it was they got from the test. All of the simulations by different nations government agencies where pretty much the same. I only have one link to give you to validate this claim, but again, don’t click it until your done reading this thread…because remember…Cogs more important! The link for you backstabbers is:
http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-12505287.html
Think about these tests with me. Some guy in a really cool black suit and a really cool communications ear piece walked into a subway and released a nasty little bug. The commuters, and the local hookers, starving, jobless wine-o’s all got exposed to a bug. They’re traveling to their destinations while this thing is moving through their bodies. What’s the common incubation period for the flu? 3-7 days? How far away and apart could these travelers spread? Maybe one guy takes the train to the airport and flies to New York, and another teaches at Paris, Frances largest high school, and another is the ticket lady at a museum.
Within three days this bug could have spread around the world…twice! If this was a deadly bio-terrorist attack, we’d be in some major cow patties! These tests are conducted to analyze bio-weapon attacks and their results are used to help under-paid government cubicle inmates design response plans that won’t work because people suck, and their selfish, and they’d rather riot when faced with a catastrophe instead of working together! Allow me to contradict myself for a moment; New Yorkers on 9/11…you are [b]all[/b] awesome! All of you worked together that day and I hope the rest of the world learns from your bravery. And…L.A. during the King riots…you suck, and you should be ashamed of yourselves! I’m embarrassed for you!
[Before all of you Lost Angelis folks who rioted start writing me threatening hate mail, learn from your mistakes, and be a better person then me, and send me your money…all of it, and you’ll feel better for yourself for doing it, and I’ll feel better for myself because you did it, and because I can afford the platinum toilet that revs like an engine when flushed]
I support the exercises the governments are conducting to minimize, or prevent bio-weapons casualties, so long as there are zero fatalities. I think it’s a wise move considering the state of affairs in our world, and the ease of technological means required to produce such an arsenal. However, I’m still terrified of the possibility that such an attack could occur. There’s a sick f-ck to build it, and there’s a sick f-ck to use it. I think we should all invest in adult diapers and wear them…vigilantly!
Gas masks are no better then the “Duck and Cover” drills from the 1950’s. We need S.C.B.A.’s (Self Contained Breathing Apparatuses) and Level A/B fully encapsulated suits just to live through said attack. How long will that last? That depends on what you’ve been exposed to, what’s its life span, how does it spread, how much oxygen is in your tank(s), and where are you when the exposure occurred? (i.e.: if you’re in jail…your f-cked!)
What about long term affects? What about a shelter? Can you dig a hole in the ground and wait things out? That depends on whether its air borne, and whether it’s lighter then air. If its heavier then air, your screwed…better to live on that sheet of plywood you nailed up in your parents tree and called a fort! I don’t know if preparation is even possible at this point. There are too many variations to decide upon. Let’s use this thread to discuss:
1) Fears of a biological weapon;
2) Types of bio-weapons;
3) Crazies capable of using these weapons;
4) Survival tips; and
5) What materials we can have available in our Go-Bags to help us tackle this threat.
Now, to all of those loyal readers, click on the links above and learn some stuff so you can return to this thread and discuss it. Also, here’s a helpful link F.Y.I.: http://www.american-gas-masks.com/gas-threat-map.htm
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/biological+weapon
-Begin Quote-
Biological weapon Function: noun Date: 1947
: a harmful biological agent (as a pathogenic microorganism or a neurotoxin) used as a weapon to cause death or disease usually on a large scale.
-End Quote-
For the purpose of making my life easier (because I’m pathetically lazy and want to shorten words, even though I took the time to write this ridiculous disclaimer) I will refer to the above term as bio-weapon. What is a bio-weapon? If you’re asking this question…look above this paragraph; you twit! I took the time (under two minutes) to type in the term in my web browser, clicked on the definition, and I copied and pasted it up there for you to read. Duh!
Bio-weapons come in many forms. According to the Center for Decease Control in Atlanta, Georgia, there are three categories of bio-weapons. I won’t bore you with details, but I can assure you that “Dutch Ovens” aren’t listed under a category of Bio-terrorism. It’s true…they’re not. A Jewish girl I once dated (I’m part German, and you’ll understand my mention in a moment) accused me of anti-Semitic terror because I a-s gassed her. I pulled the blanket over her head and released an S.B.D. (Silent But Deadly) bio-butt attack. Not to worry though. I found no category including rotten egg smelling farts, so all of us immature boyfriends and evil big brothers have nothing to worry about.
In case you’re annoying curiosity wants further information regarding the C.D.C.’s bio-weapon categories, and any relevant facts you should know about, I’ve posted their link. But not until you finish reading this thread because I wrote it and anything I write should be considered more important then anything about the end of the f-cking world, so here’s the link: http://emergency.cdc.gov/bioterrorism/
If you’re still reading this, I love you, and I want you to know that I appreciate my fans; especially if they send me money for nothing, so send cash ‘via’ snail mail to:
For those of you that paused your reading to click on the link and get all distracted, we had tons of fun while you were gone, but now all of the cyber cake is gone, and the exotic dancers and their donkey have left; too bad for you; read on…
There have been an unknown number of unconfirmed tests in which governments have simulated bio-weapon attacks on their soil. One such experiment was conducted in a London, England subway tunnel. A bio-thing-a-ma-jig (probably a cold virus) was released into a crowd and the local hospitals (or some shack they threw up) where monitored for patients admitting themselves regarding the whatever it was they got from the test. All of the simulations by different nations government agencies where pretty much the same. I only have one link to give you to validate this claim, but again, don’t click it until your done reading this thread…because remember…Cogs more important! The link for you backstabbers is:
http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-12505287.html
Think about these tests with me. Some guy in a really cool black suit and a really cool communications ear piece walked into a subway and released a nasty little bug. The commuters, and the local hookers, starving, jobless wine-o’s all got exposed to a bug. They’re traveling to their destinations while this thing is moving through their bodies. What’s the common incubation period for the flu? 3-7 days? How far away and apart could these travelers spread? Maybe one guy takes the train to the airport and flies to New York, and another teaches at Paris, Frances largest high school, and another is the ticket lady at a museum.
Within three days this bug could have spread around the world…twice! If this was a deadly bio-terrorist attack, we’d be in some major cow patties! These tests are conducted to analyze bio-weapon attacks and their results are used to help under-paid government cubicle inmates design response plans that won’t work because people suck, and their selfish, and they’d rather riot when faced with a catastrophe instead of working together! Allow me to contradict myself for a moment; New Yorkers on 9/11…you are [b]all[/b] awesome! All of you worked together that day and I hope the rest of the world learns from your bravery. And…L.A. during the King riots…you suck, and you should be ashamed of yourselves! I’m embarrassed for you!
[Before all of you Lost Angelis folks who rioted start writing me threatening hate mail, learn from your mistakes, and be a better person then me, and send me your money…all of it, and you’ll feel better for yourself for doing it, and I’ll feel better for myself because you did it, and because I can afford the platinum toilet that revs like an engine when flushed]
I support the exercises the governments are conducting to minimize, or prevent bio-weapons casualties, so long as there are zero fatalities. I think it’s a wise move considering the state of affairs in our world, and the ease of technological means required to produce such an arsenal. However, I’m still terrified of the possibility that such an attack could occur. There’s a sick f-ck to build it, and there’s a sick f-ck to use it. I think we should all invest in adult diapers and wear them…vigilantly!
Gas masks are no better then the “Duck and Cover” drills from the 1950’s. We need S.C.B.A.’s (Self Contained Breathing Apparatuses) and Level A/B fully encapsulated suits just to live through said attack. How long will that last? That depends on what you’ve been exposed to, what’s its life span, how does it spread, how much oxygen is in your tank(s), and where are you when the exposure occurred? (i.e.: if you’re in jail…your f-cked!)
What about long term affects? What about a shelter? Can you dig a hole in the ground and wait things out? That depends on whether its air borne, and whether it’s lighter then air. If its heavier then air, your screwed…better to live on that sheet of plywood you nailed up in your parents tree and called a fort! I don’t know if preparation is even possible at this point. There are too many variations to decide upon. Let’s use this thread to discuss:
1) Fears of a biological weapon;
2) Types of bio-weapons;
3) Crazies capable of using these weapons;
4) Survival tips; and
5) What materials we can have available in our Go-Bags to help us tackle this threat.
Now, to all of those loyal readers, click on the links above and learn some stuff so you can return to this thread and discuss it. Also, here’s a helpful link F.Y.I.: http://www.american-gas-masks.com/gas-threat-map.htm
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Can't sleep so I blogged...
Youngest baby mamma...with half her hair done.
.Nope, this won’t embarrass her. She's posted this pic herself on Facebook.
And here's a pic I took from my cell phone. It's a Chicago Police officer watching me watch him watch me take a picture of him. He pulled away moments after the picture with a paranoid look in his eyes. Odd...I was the one parked illegally! Besides, I love the C.P.D.! Best outfit in the U.S.A. I was taking the picture because it just looked natural
Here's a life size replica of the Transformer Bumblebee from the Chicago Auto Show. My oldest son and I stood in front of this thing for 30 minutes and did nothing more then gaze at it. We imagine it came to life. Though...I'm sure my son thought it would fight the Decepticons hiding in his lunch that he refused to eat...I was more interested in the mechanical and technological means to make such a monstrosity take place...and I wondered if it would have a bumper to bumper warranty.
Scary picture I found randomly in Photobucket...
Another scary picture I found randomly in photobucket...
Let's discuss emo for a second...okay that's was all.
Fooling Oneself Into Love...
http://www.secretasylum.com/ has a new sub-forum under the Group Therapy: Member Hosted Forums Catagory titled:
Love/Hate: Standing along the high electrified fence, you kneel down and pick a dandelion and start to pull off it's petals: they love me? They hate me? They love me? They hate me? Geez...if only you knew how your multiple personalities REALLY felt about you!
I posted its first post "Fooling Oneself Into Love." I decided to blog it as it may help those individuals having trouble with love after realizing their significant other isn't what they presumed them to be! Read on...
At the time that I'm writing this post, I'm 35 years old, and I've fallen in love more times than the number of women I've dated. Yes it sounds odd, but it's true.
I'm one of those oddities that can fall in love with a beauty as she walks toward me, and my heart will break as she walks on bye. You're probably smirking a little and correcting me by thinking, or mumbling through pursed lips "That's nothing more than attraction."
I'm familiar with the laws of attraction and that isn't what I'm referring to. I literally fall in love at the batting of a femmes eyes. It's not a beneficial characteristic; it's a curse. I'm fortunate enough to be engaged at the moment thus avoiding the roller coaster ride my romantic life takes when single.
With that said, let's get to the cream filling in this Twinkie... I think it's safe to assume that at one point or another all of us have projected our wishful desires unto the face of another. We meet someone; date them; ignore their flaws; and begin to view them as the romantic partner we're looking and hoping for instead of the romantic partner they're capable of.
I'm notorious for this. I meet a woman and imagine she will laugh at all my jokes (and she will at first); we will have endless conversations together (and we do...for the first month, then the conversation becomes one sided and dominated by her, leaving me to nod in compliance, grunting "uh huh" every few seconds, and day dreaming about giant asteroids hurdling toward the Earth); and she isn't a head case (until a few months pass, her drinking problem surfaces, and she insists on therapy where I'll learn everything is my fault, including her drug and alcohol dependency that started 10 years before I even met her).
Thank God I don't have to deal with that now. I am happy in love, and I have a solid partner. But... I have been through this in the past, and so have many others. Why do we project false images on people we date? Don't we realize the folly and the inevitable collapse that awaits us?
I know this one guy...
He went through a period of solitary after a break-up in 2007 with his significant other who was also his 2nd baby’s mama.
Months of depression living alone in his apartment led him to seek a new lover. His first night out...he saw her, errr…will explain this part later, read on.
Standing on a busy street corner on Chicago’s North Side, was a chocolate princess: curves in all the right places; good black girl hair; and was dressed for the club... an Amish club if such a place existed. She was dressed appropriately for the weather, but had an attractive wardrobe; not too flashy; with a turtleneck.
He watched her from the window of a local greasy spoon restaurant. (I'd like to add that our friend here has a creepy serial killer look about him. In reality, he's a really good dude, but he's just genetically creepy. Not ugly by any means, just creepy) He had a friend accompanying him who talked our guy into approaching the beauty and after a few stabs at our guys ego, he caved in and walked across the street to go "get him some a that!"
His heart was pounding, nerves where electrified, and you could tell he was rehearsing his introduction with each foot step. Just under a yard from her, they locked eyes; he smiled; she looked terrified...and literally turned around and ran away.
I sh-t you not. She ran like a horde of zombies were coming after her. To make things worse, there were others at that corner with her (they were outside in front of a club) and it was blatantly obvious that he was approaching her in an attempt to romance her up. He froze and everyone’s eyebrows rose with eyes widening in their sockets; uncomfortably and anxiously grinning, they stared him down. He just stood there.
His friend came to the rescue and literally pulled him away from the scene (laughing hysterically) and they went on a pub crawl. In the wee hours of the morning, inebriated, and jovial, the pair of lush buddies found their way back to the same greasy spoon to sober up on sh-tty coffee and nachos.
Still buzzing, they ventured into the night and there she was again. This time she just stared at him with a curiosity in her eyes. He took a deep breath, raised his arms and exposed his palms and said "Hi" with a humiliated "you just made me look like a f-ckin moron" chuckle.
You could tell she was pleased when her full red lips twisted into a seductive and amused smile, and had a hesitant yet curious twinkle in her eyes.
He approached her and after a short introduction (and disclaimer that he wasn't trying to tie her up and eat her later) the flawless flirtation began. It was so successful that his wingman strolled off and soon after…her laughter drown out anyone’s hope of ease dropping. Until the big laugh!
I'm not sure what caused it... all I know is that he our guys humor was in its prime form and she couldn't restrain her responses any longer (side note: her laugh was loud but controlled and sweet, almost too sweet) and she lifted her head to the sky, protected her stomach with an open hand and laughed loud, hearty, and deep; very deep; extremely deep; too deep for a female.
And all that had eyes could see our guys smile fade, and his eyebrows flatten as a look of bewilderment and intrigue took control of his face. It wasn't so much the laugh as we've all heard the female octaves drop from soprano to baritone -add anger. It was what he saw...on her neck...where an Adams apple shouldn't be!
Immediately becoming uncomfortable he went straight for the kill (not literally, but figuratively) and asked "di-ahhh-did, ummm...do you have, uhhh...are you a guy?"
Now...before we continue, let's review. Man sees girl at a distance. Man approaches girl; girl flees. Man gets drunk almost to the point of poisoning and sees girl again. Man approaches girl...in the dark....while senses are hampered by alcohol...and as he speaks with girl, he begins to sober. Girl has an Adams apple.
Okay... so after he asked her about her sex, “Are you a guy?”and she says "No, but I use to be," one of her hands is now supporting her, ummm... his, ummm....their lower back and the other is waving their index finger in the air "hold up" she says with a sass "why you tripping for? What you doin here if you aint into this?"
This is when our guy realizes his wingman is across the street laughing. He also realizes that's it's been some years since he was in this part of town, then he realizes that the thumping club she’s been standing in front of is "Berlin," Chicago’s gay and transvestite club (imagine the Rocky Horror Picture Show on steroids).
He explains that he's not gay and that she is the most beautiful dude he's ever seen (he obviously didn't know what else to say since he didn't have his copy of "Homo Etiquette For Dummies" handy) and he looked as if he was puckering his butt cheeks so much he'd fart out of his mouth…because everything he had just said was pretty much sh-t!
After making peace with her/him after offending her/him unintentionally, He then asks why she/he ran from him in the first place. She/He said matter-of-factly "I thought use was a cop. You look like da police, and I ain't standing here just to looking pretty...hunnn…you got money?" He stepped back with hands up in the air, palms facing her, frantically nodding a refusal and stuttering “I-I’m ahhh..I’m not gay! She/He laughed it off, turned around and shook her/his rump as she/he walked away. She/He was a prostidude.
The moral to this story...know where all the gay bars are and avoid talking to anyone standing in front of it unless you're into that sort of thing.
Oh wait a second... That's not why I posted this. The real moral here is projecting your wants on another human being without acknowledging and excepting the reality of who they are (in this case a gay guy hooker who had a sex change into a tranny) will lead you down the road to no-no-ville.
Love/Hate: Standing along the high electrified fence, you kneel down and pick a dandelion and start to pull off it's petals: they love me? They hate me? They love me? They hate me? Geez...if only you knew how your multiple personalities REALLY felt about you!
I posted its first post "Fooling Oneself Into Love." I decided to blog it as it may help those individuals having trouble with love after realizing their significant other isn't what they presumed them to be! Read on...
At the time that I'm writing this post, I'm 35 years old, and I've fallen in love more times than the number of women I've dated. Yes it sounds odd, but it's true.
I'm one of those oddities that can fall in love with a beauty as she walks toward me, and my heart will break as she walks on bye. You're probably smirking a little and correcting me by thinking, or mumbling through pursed lips "That's nothing more than attraction."
I'm familiar with the laws of attraction and that isn't what I'm referring to. I literally fall in love at the batting of a femmes eyes. It's not a beneficial characteristic; it's a curse. I'm fortunate enough to be engaged at the moment thus avoiding the roller coaster ride my romantic life takes when single.
With that said, let's get to the cream filling in this Twinkie... I think it's safe to assume that at one point or another all of us have projected our wishful desires unto the face of another. We meet someone; date them; ignore their flaws; and begin to view them as the romantic partner we're looking and hoping for instead of the romantic partner they're capable of.
I'm notorious for this. I meet a woman and imagine she will laugh at all my jokes (and she will at first); we will have endless conversations together (and we do...for the first month, then the conversation becomes one sided and dominated by her, leaving me to nod in compliance, grunting "uh huh" every few seconds, and day dreaming about giant asteroids hurdling toward the Earth); and she isn't a head case (until a few months pass, her drinking problem surfaces, and she insists on therapy where I'll learn everything is my fault, including her drug and alcohol dependency that started 10 years before I even met her).
Thank God I don't have to deal with that now. I am happy in love, and I have a solid partner. But... I have been through this in the past, and so have many others. Why do we project false images on people we date? Don't we realize the folly and the inevitable collapse that awaits us?
I know this one guy...
He went through a period of solitary after a break-up in 2007 with his significant other who was also his 2nd baby’s mama.
Months of depression living alone in his apartment led him to seek a new lover. His first night out...he saw her, errr…will explain this part later, read on.
Standing on a busy street corner on Chicago’s North Side, was a chocolate princess: curves in all the right places; good black girl hair; and was dressed for the club... an Amish club if such a place existed. She was dressed appropriately for the weather, but had an attractive wardrobe; not too flashy; with a turtleneck.
He watched her from the window of a local greasy spoon restaurant. (I'd like to add that our friend here has a creepy serial killer look about him. In reality, he's a really good dude, but he's just genetically creepy. Not ugly by any means, just creepy) He had a friend accompanying him who talked our guy into approaching the beauty and after a few stabs at our guys ego, he caved in and walked across the street to go "get him some a that!"
His heart was pounding, nerves where electrified, and you could tell he was rehearsing his introduction with each foot step. Just under a yard from her, they locked eyes; he smiled; she looked terrified...and literally turned around and ran away.
I sh-t you not. She ran like a horde of zombies were coming after her. To make things worse, there were others at that corner with her (they were outside in front of a club) and it was blatantly obvious that he was approaching her in an attempt to romance her up. He froze and everyone’s eyebrows rose with eyes widening in their sockets; uncomfortably and anxiously grinning, they stared him down. He just stood there.
His friend came to the rescue and literally pulled him away from the scene (laughing hysterically) and they went on a pub crawl. In the wee hours of the morning, inebriated, and jovial, the pair of lush buddies found their way back to the same greasy spoon to sober up on sh-tty coffee and nachos.
Still buzzing, they ventured into the night and there she was again. This time she just stared at him with a curiosity in her eyes. He took a deep breath, raised his arms and exposed his palms and said "Hi" with a humiliated "you just made me look like a f-ckin moron" chuckle.
You could tell she was pleased when her full red lips twisted into a seductive and amused smile, and had a hesitant yet curious twinkle in her eyes.
He approached her and after a short introduction (and disclaimer that he wasn't trying to tie her up and eat her later) the flawless flirtation began. It was so successful that his wingman strolled off and soon after…her laughter drown out anyone’s hope of ease dropping. Until the big laugh!
I'm not sure what caused it... all I know is that he our guys humor was in its prime form and she couldn't restrain her responses any longer (side note: her laugh was loud but controlled and sweet, almost too sweet) and she lifted her head to the sky, protected her stomach with an open hand and laughed loud, hearty, and deep; very deep; extremely deep; too deep for a female.
And all that had eyes could see our guys smile fade, and his eyebrows flatten as a look of bewilderment and intrigue took control of his face. It wasn't so much the laugh as we've all heard the female octaves drop from soprano to baritone -add anger. It was what he saw...on her neck...where an Adams apple shouldn't be!
Immediately becoming uncomfortable he went straight for the kill (not literally, but figuratively) and asked "di-ahhh-did, ummm...do you have, uhhh...are you a guy?"
Now...before we continue, let's review. Man sees girl at a distance. Man approaches girl; girl flees. Man gets drunk almost to the point of poisoning and sees girl again. Man approaches girl...in the dark....while senses are hampered by alcohol...and as he speaks with girl, he begins to sober. Girl has an Adams apple.
Okay... so after he asked her about her sex, “Are you a guy?”and she says "No, but I use to be," one of her hands is now supporting her, ummm... his, ummm....their lower back and the other is waving their index finger in the air "hold up" she says with a sass "why you tripping for? What you doin here if you aint into this?"
This is when our guy realizes his wingman is across the street laughing. He also realizes that's it's been some years since he was in this part of town, then he realizes that the thumping club she’s been standing in front of is "Berlin," Chicago’s gay and transvestite club (imagine the Rocky Horror Picture Show on steroids).
He explains that he's not gay and that she is the most beautiful dude he's ever seen (he obviously didn't know what else to say since he didn't have his copy of "Homo Etiquette For Dummies" handy) and he looked as if he was puckering his butt cheeks so much he'd fart out of his mouth…because everything he had just said was pretty much sh-t!
After making peace with her/him after offending her/him unintentionally, He then asks why she/he ran from him in the first place. She/He said matter-of-factly "I thought use was a cop. You look like da police, and I ain't standing here just to looking pretty...hunnn…you got money?" He stepped back with hands up in the air, palms facing her, frantically nodding a refusal and stuttering “I-I’m ahhh..I’m not gay! She/He laughed it off, turned around and shook her/his rump as she/he walked away. She/He was a prostidude.
The moral to this story...know where all the gay bars are and avoid talking to anyone standing in front of it unless you're into that sort of thing.
Oh wait a second... That's not why I posted this. The real moral here is projecting your wants on another human being without acknowledging and excepting the reality of who they are (in this case a gay guy hooker who had a sex change into a tranny) will lead you down the road to no-no-ville.
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